Someone who lacks respect often has a lack of control. You see kids all the time, so aggressive and ready to pop off in the classroom. They're ready to challenge anything the teacher says. The other kids in the class laugh at these kids, but no one usually admires them. Soon enough, one kid's blatant lack of respect gives permission for others to do the same until the class falls into anarchy.
I'm not a fan of anarchy. I believe in respect for authority out of principle and faith. What these temperamental kids with disrespectful attitudes don't understand is that respect is not conditional.
Usually they'll say, "A teacher has to earn my respect. You have to give it to get it." So now respect depends on the worth of the teacher.
"The lesson was STUpid!"
"I was just really ticked off that day. I was not havin' it."
So now respect depends on whether the kid was in a good mood that day.
A thoughtful student might not show respect for a teacher he/she thinks fails to challenge them. A child with unstable or missing parents might disrespect anyone that makes any sort of pretense of having authority. They seem bent on proving that no one can tell them what to do.
I don't think kids want freedom as much as they'd like. Imagine if all of a sudden your parents no longer cared if you stayed out late, picked a lousy boyfriend or girlfriend, or threw away any plans of what to do after highschool. Wonderful? No.
Freedom like that brings despair and chaos because no one in your life cares enough to get angry with you for destroying yourself. Authority brings the assurance that you matter. Your decisions matter. Your choices matter. Total freedom means total meaninglessness.
Although I didn't always feel like this, I now believe that people in authority should be shown a measure of respect whether they are competent, capable, easy to like, or not. Why? Simply because they're in that position.
Anyone that accepts a leadership position also accepts responsiblity for the people they lead. If a class fails to learn, the teacher is the one under scrutiny. And so a teacher has a right to expect respect from students from day one. Leadership isn't about lording power over people. You're in the position to serve the people who are under you, so to speak.
Respect can't be demanded. But it should be expected.
Edited 7:12 05/15/11
I completely agree with this, although sometimes I don't show it. I tend to disrespect adults who don't give me respect or don't act like adults. I know that I'm in the wrong but sometimes it's just hard to give something to people without them "earning" it.
ReplyDeleteI think that especially as teacher cadets, we can have problems with this. We think we're practically teachers and people can't tell what to do, we KNOW what to do. With that comes a lack of respect. I think a lot of people need to take some self-evaluating time on respect, myself included.
Respect...I think it's essential to have it both ways. And if the teacher is as stubborn to show it to the student because the student has not shown it to him--and the student is as stubborn to show it to the teacher because the teacher has not shown it to her...well then, it's a lose-lose. I believe the teacher has to be willing to tie a kid's shoe even though the kid just kicked him. That's hard.
ReplyDeleteBut if the shoe fits... or maybe not. The teacher has done right but how will said kid learn that it's in their best interest not to kick? The teacher showed a kind of respect that the kid would definately benefit from, if learned.
ReplyDeleteThis totally makes sense. I understand that respect is something that should be earned but it should also just be assumed. That's how I was raised anyway. I was taught that I should respect and do what the adult in charge says. There was never any questioning it. Kids these days feel entitled and they feel like they should decide whether or not they should respect them. They also think they want all this sort of "freedom." The funny part is, when they get the freedom, they suddenly miss the structure of their old habits. That's what happens to a lot of people as they graduate. This is the day they've been looking forward to their whole lives, except when you're little you don't think about having to face the world and becoming an adult. Becoming an adult and having all this freedom doesn't seem as wonderful as it appears to be, now does it?
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