Wednesday April 27th, 2011 (Week One)

I've mentioned the route Miss Q likes to take to reach the playground, but you should also know that in order to get to the turtles, you walk past a mini-playground for the smaller set. Today there was a group of younguns crawling on their knees pretending to be puppies. They barked and whined convincingly while the two 'handlers' shouted orders. All were welcome to play, it seemed. It was the kind of scene that left you feeling lighter afterwards. They threw themselves into their roles with humble abandon, content with being part of the group and noticeably not caring which particular puppy they found themselves next to. Even though there were different roles, none all seemed equal.

I'm not sure if Miss Q could throw herself into a silly pretend game the same way this point in her life. The turtles probably could, but even with them there was a difference. I wonder at one point did the turtles grow out of the puppy games and into social ones.

Walking towards the turtles, this time she came upon Nancy Drew and Princesstard on the swings. The conversation that followed seemed natural and unplanned but the question that started it was by design.

"What's your favorite book?"

Nancy Drew is one turtle that Miss Q doesn't talk to as often. But definitely not for lack of things in common. Her eyes lit up.

"A Dog's Life. It's a 4.9"

Miss Q feigned disappointment.

"You know I don't like books with the dog dying."
"True. But this actually makes the book better."
"Really?" wondered Miss Q with calm interest.
"Yes."

Princesstard's favorite author was Percy Jackson. Sort of.
"The author's name is Rick Rogaine, Princesstard." corrected Drew. Because of their friendship, Princesstard was gratefully accustomed to Drew's bluntness. She just really liked the Percy Jackson series in general. Whatever that is.

Miss Q told them about the A.R system, and how it could be mastered by simply reading a Harry Potter Book and gaining at least 25 points from a 10 question test. Nancy Drew happily explained the class owls, which involved reading a book, creating a questions, and making a diorama. Miss Q had seen Nancy present her diorama's before. They are similar types of students. Even in front of a classroom, Miss Q also feels at ease explaining books.

Nancy Drew mentioned that she could retrieve the book for Miss Q but it was still a pleasant surprise when she handed it over during cursive. She was beginning to start conversations with Co-Pilot and Solomon so that's how Miss Q found out she was ahead on her reading work. Hmmm.

When Miss Q suggested The Narnia series, she let out a little 'meh'.
"I heard they were a little cheesy?" (What???)

Somewhere, Lady Finch sneezed.

When the bell rang to line up, Miss Q took a moment to steal away and talk to The Gage.
"I thought about you this morning."
"Why."
"I spent all night working on an assignment for English and then left it at home. I felt really bad after that. But then I remembered what I told you yesterday. Ya know? Try anyway. Because that's what you did."
"Ok." he said, probably wondering why she shared that.
"Organization's not my thing."
"Me neither."

Miss Q wanted hoped that she could get across the idea of trying even without natural ability. What she said, though, was actually only a brief explanation of a ton of different emotions, gains, and failures. Truthfully she had forgotten and remembered only to forget many other things in the same morning. Miss Q: short-sighted, disorganized, whiny, sulky, and procrastinating. It's like someone looking at themselves in a fun-house mirrors. From the inside these weaknesses seem to swamp and overshadow any other qualities she might have. But by that point in the day the answer was obvious. Try anyway.

Lunch was fun. Beancurd tried to move his seat. Beancurd I need you to move back to your seat...Beancurd I need you to back to your seat... Beancurd... "ok ok blahbedyblahweirdladyharrassingmmmeeee". Beancurd always talks. The thing is not to acknowledge every thing he says. Who know how many hours of fun he's had with that already. The broken record method, with an easygoing but firm tone, did the trick this time.

Sitting next to Fruitbat who was sitting next to Beancurd was interesting. Fruitbat regaled me with a series of jokes. "Who's the newest pop singer out there?" "I don't know?" We eye each other in curiosity. "Lady Goo Goo Gaga!"

You have to be careful with Fruitbat. She has a biting wit. If she tells you a gossipy secret, there's always the danger of it actually being funny and that's always inconvenient. But Miss Q was ready today.

Uniqua, noticing me explained her harshness was because she gets cranky with the whether, launched on a story against Nala.

"She got a attitude with me. All I did watch her and she was like 'Whatchu lookin at!'."
"So then I came in and I was like, Sumthin ugly that's for sure."

I'd already mentioned earlier that Uniqua uses all her good all-star qualities against people sometimes. She agreed. As for Fruitbat... not nice.

"But it's the truth." Sigh.
"No. If someone calls you ugly, you can't say it's untrue just because you disagree. That's how they see it. But it's still hurtful."
"True, I guess."
"Don't do it. You wouldn't want someone to call you ugly."

It seemed to make sense then.

" I. get. irritated." Uniqua repeated, though in a decidedly good mood.
"I know." said Idaho. "You show me pink all the time, even though you know it makes me angry."
"You're like my best friend though." Instantly a part of Miss Q's brain went, 'umm, when was this?' but that was when she noticed the fickle quality of the turtles groupings.

For instance, Fate had become 'popular'. She chattered happily beside Skinny Jeanz, whispering in her ear, discussing her past boyfriend, and laughing at Beancurd's antics. She was 'in'. Truthfully, Miss Q didn't know whether to celebrate or not. Nala was apparently on the outskirts. There was also the fact that Solomon no longer flirted so much with Skinny Jeanz. Both of them seemed slightly subdued. Maybe their break apart had cooled their little romance.

On the far side of the table sat Nancy Drew, Princesstard, Mariska, Dexter and The Brit. They were a solid little table with a nice three-seated distance away from ours. Miss Beiber (Miss Q guessed with her eyes closed at Fruitbat's questioning) was missing and in silent lunch. Miss Beiber's finger is now covered in a cast. After Miss Q accused her of ridiculous sneaky dealings, she explained that her brother had shut the cutlery drawer with her finger still inside.

After cursive, the turtles had the opportunity to catch up on some of their work. Miss Q cringed inwardly as she saw the new set of Clique novels on Miss Beibers desk. Because what we really need, ladies and gentlemen, is more Clique novels. Princesstard got her rug in a hurry.

"Miss Q, would you please come over and help my table get along." she said, a bit annoyed.
Miss Q wish she'd stayed. She could use some of her diplomacy.

Fate and The Gage are notorious enemies. They argued quietly and alone at their table. The funny thing, I highly doubt they actually dislike each other. It just made life more interesting.

As Miss Q sat down, they stopped and went back to their work. Yeah. That's what I thought.

But The Gage had the dreaded Morphed Animals worksheet, with it's one finished paragraph. Uh oh.
Suddenly he becamed extremely engaged (note choice of words) with drawing a disfigured puppy head on the back of his cursive. Here it comes.

He scrutinized the eraser of Miss Q's 'special' mechanical pencil. He asked her questions about the pencil. Fate also distracted a bit, discussing the methods to take care of the pencil she would trade Miss Q.

Maybe because he sensed how much Miss Q wanted for him to work, he got a bit of leverage.
"I'll work as soon as I hit the pencil." He tried. He missed. He hit the pencil.
"I don't wanna work."

Miz Boss noticed all this.

"Gage, put the scissors back." she said dangerously.

When it was time to go to art ("Yesss! Art!!"), Miss Q told him what she saw. "You use distractions in order to not do your work."
"Nuh uh! I did do something."
"You didn't write anything."

Miz Boss told him to stay behind. Miss Q wondered how Miz Boss would approach him as she followed the turtles into art.

Besides Beancurd quickly being sent out of the room, art was pleasant. Miss Q discussed art and the meaning of the word regional with Mariska and Princesstard. She glazed her mother's day spoon at a little table with Co-Pilot, Fate, and Dexter. She laughed at Co-Pilot.

"You make me laugh Co-Pilot." Like Zefron, Co-Pilot is extremely hard not to like. He's just a jovial, roundish red-head with a huge grin always plastered on his face.

"Don't worry purple. You'll be used soon enough." Miss Q laughed. Fate was in a good mood. She was trippin.

"Yes, don't worry purple. You're so lucky to be used by the beautiful, amazing Fate." I love Fate's glasses, which she took off for me that day. They made her more Fate-like. And she never did look more like Fate than when saying that.

"Poor purple." Yeah. That was Miss Q. Co-Pilot smirked. A pause.
"Hey!"
"Just kidding. Heh heh." Sheepish.
"Don't worry purple," Fate added. "You won't be used by that awful lady who called me mean."

The Gage came to art sullenly. Later Miz Boss told Miss Q that The Gage had to make a teary call home over his work not being done. Of course they both understood how much The Gage wanted to escape from writing. Miss Q had a good feeling about it but there was still the problem of how The Gage responded to writing assignments ahead of him. In the fourth grade there's a huge writing test. If he can use all that determination (stubbornness) than he'll be in good shape. But Miss Q can't do it for him.

3/21/11: My Own Boy Band, The Atomic Ponies (Blog 10)

"Bye Atomic Ponies bandleader." Zefron whispers as Miss Q exits the computer room.

"I thought you were the leader."

"Oh right... well, you're the manager."

Zefron, all warm brown eyes, and outstanding sense of humor heads what Miss Q calls her "boy band."

On a very interesting day when Miss Q went with the awkward turtles to play soccer for P.E (remind her to tell you about it) Miss Q remembered afterward a comment the coach made about the classroom.

"I guess there's just a weird chemistry going on in this class. They don't seem to mix so well."

This was of course referring to the turtles P.E performance. There had been some spectacular moments. Miss Q got them excited, got them to chant about teamwork and how awesome they were gonna do in the class together.

...And then Uniqua (who now wants to be called Miwok) let loos her sassy mouth on Fate and Fate broke down into tears on the sidelines. As Miss Q gently encouraged her to get back in, the morale of the teams seemed to sink from their, dissolving into general irritation at one another's lack of performance.

"It's usually the girls." Noted Lady Finch.
"You guys are gonna be around each other for a long time. Ya'll should start learning to get along." Said Coach.
"You're kids are crazy." Said Stewbeef, although at that point, when they were excited, Miss Q thinks he meant in a good way.

But a weird chemistry? Did Miss Q's class just not blend well like oil and water. Maybe. Fate so far has yet to get along with anyone in the classroom on a consistent basis without having to take herself out of the situation. Her method that she's learned is to isolate herself when she's angry, which is good, but Miss Q still wants her to figure out new ways to handle her emotional issues.

The Gage, Freakazoid, and Mook hanging out together is usually trouble, althoug Miss Q has amazing incidents to report for bothe of them. Nala is another mystery. The other girls seem to shun her at times, maybe because of her looks. She's a very dark girl with lines crisscrossing her face that remind you of scars.

"Quit acting like you're popular." Fate often lashes at Nala, who is often one her only allies. The class seems to have come to a general consensus on Fate. We may not be allowed to show meanness to her but we sure don't have to try to be nice to her. If only they weren't practically the same treatment?

Uniqua and Miss Beiber have sassy mouths and are very sly. Even catty. And Rickster? Well, he just wants to eat his lunch and chill.

So with troublemaking groups, catty mouths, and flaring tempers, does our group just have any chemistry?

Only if you know where to look. Five boys: Zefron (the funny one), Boo (the quiet one), Solomon (the wild one), Dubby (The One who does all the tricks with his arms) and Co-Pilot (The red-headed jovial one).

They sit together at lunch, play together at the playground, cheer for each other during Sparkle. Each of the friendships between them are very different and complicated.

One day two weeks ago, The band minus Solomon came running up to Miss Q.

"Solomon's being really mean!"
"Yeah! He gets like this sometimes. He pulled me by my arm into the ground!"
"And he says that word F** a lot."

The meaning was clear, as Miss Q noticed Solomon walking sullenly by himself. The group together had decided that, even though he was mostly a good friend, his behavior as of late was unacceptable and therefore they had to reject him.

In the lunch line, Miss Q asked them what they would do. It was Zefron who responded.

"I think we'll give him another chance."

This is when Miss Q first noticed the powerful dynamic in this little group. There was camraderie, there was order, and their was leadership.

"Ya'll are gonna be my boy band." Miss Q explained to them one day. She had a private word with Zefron.

"Now, whether you realize it or not, what you do influences the group. You have leadership qualities, so guess who I'm looking at whenever you and Co-pilot goof off in line?"

"I don't care." Zefron looks thoughtful for a moment. His body language betrays his words. He seemed to be figuring out if he like the weight of the 'responsibility' on one hand and the chance for extra praise on the other.

From that moment on, the boys took it from there, dubbing themselves the Atomic Ponies. They like it. And Miss Q will continue to find ways to work their natural group chemistry to her advantage. And man is it fun. The collective trust you get from them is priceless.

Speaking of groups.

"Miss Q. Miss Q!" It's Princesstard. As usual she is with Mariska and Nancy Drew, a sophisticated girl trio that remind me uncannily of the Chippettes (you know the girl chipmunks that were always trippin' about Alvin and the boys and offset them so well?)

"Were making a movie! It's like a reality t.v show. In order to get The Atomic Ponies to be in it, they're making us find them hot girlfriends and paying them 50$!"

What? In the lunch line when Zefron was asking honestly, do you see any hot girls around here?, Miss Q pointed to Mariska. His not-so-secret-admirer. Bad Miss Q!

He could barely find a comeback for embarrassment. Zefron said he didn't really want a girlfriend anyway. Good.

I could never find enough space to blog about the things I've seen. Perhaps one day, I'll have a blog-a-thon.

2/19/11: Reflection Brings a Plan of Attack (Blog 5)

Reflection:

Thursday morning, Miss Q headed out of her driveway to the bustop. The salty beach strip was quiet but the sun lit the fog that surrounded her with an ethereal light. There was a soft humming everywhere that echoed in her own thoughtless singing. These were some of the first signs of spring. She was glad for it.

Miss Q hates the cold.

It wasn't just the sun. She felt like the humming also came from her brain. The observations and words, the laughter of children, and the ideas laid out on paper that reappeared everywhere were all starting to knit together in her mind.

The bus driver's eyes glazed over with disgust as the middle schoolers cussed their way on board. They were loud, bull-headed, and obscene or at least enough were to earn the daily look of contempt from the rest of the bus. Miss Q ignored their X-rated chatter, trying to remember the names of the newer faces.

I was never that obnoxious.

The thought sits in our heads and colors our complaints with hypocrisy.

 "I can't stand them. You just wanna punch 'em in the face."
"Why would you even wanna talk to them?"

Looking at them, Miss Q took one good guess as to why they acted.

Middle school is about drifting: the boredom, immaturity, selfishness, and the little crust of apathy that forms from inflated grades, hormones and no sense of Unity or Purpose. Miss Q considered herself lucky. Different programs, music, and teachers had acted as a grace for her and broke up the monotony.

And now she had the awkward turtles. She had the community. And with her eyes open, she might could say she had the whole world.

What did they have? Anything to laugh, celebrate, cry, or worry about? Was there any connection or any real acceptance and belonging? Did they even get it from freinds or family? Or are they just wrapped up in themselves like little vacuums of insecurity stuffing themselves with gossip, trends, drugs, and desperately trying to fit in?

That morning, instead of a vacuum that would be filled she felt like the giant pitcher of Sweet Tea sitting atop Granny's kitchen. It was carelessly offered, often spilling over. There was even enough for strangers.

Miss Q quietly disagreed with the people on her bus. They could easily change. There wasn't a manual for it, but the awkward turtles were helping her understand. As if it hadn't been part of the air Lady Finch breathed. As if it hadn't been apparent the whole time.

There's something in common among people in the military, strict and loving families, and those who take pride in their schools. The rules and punishments don't seem to them like burdens.There's an appreciation and some nostalgia about it. About the way things were, and things that were Kept. Complying wasn't a drag because they'd found a place with acceptance, traditions, and things that really needed to be done.

I think they call it positive peer pressure when you get the sense of "we like you, but there are some things we don't do here." There's a standard to follow. But it's the value behind the rules that eventually changes you. Uniforms and rules don't create unity in themselves, but acceptance and seeing a common truth does. Guess who wants it in her classroom?

Miss Q with her crazy self thinks she's now got what it takes to make it happen.

The bottom line is that the spirit of a group changes you. In a loving family, you do so in response to the acceptance already given to you. Whoah, whoah, whoah...
In response to the acceptance already given to you? Part of the belief I hold at the bottom of my heart?Bingo!
You see, as Miss Q was learning the ropes and testing the waters, sometimes her discipline relied on thier knowledge and fear of the consequences.

"I hope that's something you would do with Miz Boss around."
"Freakazoid, cut it out!"

Thankfully, she never did it that much. But Miss Q if you believe what you're reflecting on then you want the turtles to respond out of the currency of love and respect you create in the classroom rather than just fear of the consequences.

Oh.

Miz Boss' greatest strength is her steadfast conclusion that the turtles know exactly what they ought to be doing at all times. Her firm alto voice gives quick, decisive directions. This keeps the class structured, accountable, and really helped Miss Q because the standards were already set.

But Miss Q doesn't just want to remind some awkward turtles of the rules. The idea isn't to get them to not do things but to run toward things. And so, she has plans. The scenes are already playing out in her head. Oh, and did she tell you this?

She steals from you guys. Her family, too.

She hopes to steal Arbear's bluntness in confronting Fate, Big L's meekness, Lady Finch's... quality, Miss Tupper's passion, Miss Beautiful's drive, Queen Kindergarten (that's Cortney, ya'll) and her composure, Socrates with his rhetoric and integrity, and the women in her family with their dominance, warmth and patience. Yep, from now on, Miss Q would learn to steal everything good. Like Lions and Lambs n such.

The Skinny:

A while ago, Miss Q noticed the paper ice scream scoops stapled to the wall. Good behavior was sweet indeed. Nancy Drew's are piled up so that the stack leans over forward. Fate, Boo, Freakazoid and Nala have yet to get one. That was also the day Fruitbat asked Miss Q to feel the scar on her wrist. Before Miss Q let herself freak out, she asked,

"Had some surgery?"
"No. I was riding my bike and, well.. the tree did surgery for me."

But Friday, if I would've taken notes that day they would've said one thing. Things went well with the boys. The movie rotation had given Miss Q about twelve turtles this time. For lunch she sat down at the table with Mariska, Zefron, Boo, and Co-Pilot.  Mariska looked fancy that day, with her deep red hair curled in loose ringlets. But with her freckles, wide blue eyes, and dark red mouth she looks striking on any day. Of course Miss Q guessed that Mariska was more than content to be the only other girl at the table as long as she was in front of Zefron.

Zefron is hilarious. Until then, Miss Q had taken for granted his outgoing sense of humor. Soon, their relationship became a teasing and bantering one.

Sometimes the way to get to some students is through others. Miss Q never would have talked as much to Co-pilot without talking to Zefron, who was more than willing to talk. And of course, on the very end, cut off by Zefron, was Boo.

Miss Q has a more accurate view of Boo's personality now:

"I think Zefron might be the funny one." Miss Q remarked.
"No... it's me!" Mariska said with a squeal.
"Actually... I think Boo might be the funny one." Miss Q looked over for his reaction. He had a sly, secretive sort of smile on his face.
" Don't worry, he is. One time, Boo went up to this Chinese guy and..." Whatever he said, Miss Q didn't remember, only she knew it had been funny and completely unexpected for someone like Boo. She laughed.

"Read between the lines." Zefron held up three fingers. His smile was too big for his face.
Now, it took a minute before Miss Q realized the implications.
"Hey! Zefron! C'mere."
Miss Q had him change the fingers to something much less offensive. There, now it was fixed.
"Don't look at me, Boo taught me it!"

That was getting less and less hard to believe. Boo grinned. Now that she thought about it, Boo was pretty well regarded among the boys for someone so quiet. And he wasn't anything like boring if he was friends with Zefron. The pieces were starting to form together.

"I think Boo secretly mind controls you guys so that while he makes ya'll act all crazy, he just has fun and never gets in trouble."

It made perfect sense. He was the mastermind, the ringleader. Who knew what activity went on in that brain of his?

Other lunch topics included The Land Before Time Series, The Brit and Dexter and how one could picture them studying anthills with a magnifying glass("No. Dexter is like that, but not The Brit."), and Dubby's weird thing he does with his hands.

"Dubby's pretty funny. He always goes like this-- Aw dang, I don't know how he does it."
"Oh my gosh, he does do that!" said Miss Q, laughing. It was like he twisted his arms around each other and flung his hands at the same time. Only Dubby can do it right.

At the bathroom, Zefron pretends to wipe his hands off on Miss Q's coat.
"What if that coat hadn't been there?" he wondered.
"Then I'd have to kill you."
"You're mean, Miss Q."
Co-pilot told Miss Q about how his brother likes to come out the bathroom with his hands wet and attack him saying, "Don't you hate when you pee on your hands?" Haha. That's so messed up.

Everyone's mean for a reason.
Miss Q says this as she, Zefron and Co-pilot sharpen the pencils.
"Except for Zefron, he's just all full of meanness."
They'd been talking about some of the mean girls at the school. So it starts.
Miss Q makes sure they don't talk, trying not to laugh as they look at each other and look back at her.

When they sit down ("I think you're done sharpening pencils now") Co-pilot contines to look at Zefron across the table.
"Don't do it Co-pilot." Miss Q whispers with a smile. He grins sheepishly and turns back around. Miss Q loves it when they do that. When keeping them in check is fun and painless because you've already won their trust.

"Reading sucks," says Co-Pilot.
"Stinks." corrects Miss Q, without thinking. Simply because Lady Finch had commented on it one time.
Monday, she plans to tell them the only things that suck are vampires.

Miss Q was pretty sure she had that same trust with Freakazoid. During the library scavenger hunt, Miss Q partnered with Nala. Freakazoid had found Mook (recipe for trouble) but then said,

"I wish you were my partner--- not that Mook's not cool." he added for Mook's sake.

The last time she remembered, he had tried to tease her as if he wanted her to leave earlier that week in Reading Buddies.
Well dern.
She'd always thought his love language was insults.

The Heavy:

Oh my gosh. Beancurd!

Miss Q doesn't plan on revealing the codename meanings (more fun that way) so easily but oh. Beancurd.

At first Miss Q didn't quite realize why she decided he was Beancurd but then she knew. He was so little. At lunch he often only takes one little bite before pushing his tray aside.

"He never eats anything." said Miss Beiber when she saw Miss Q looking. "That's why he's so small." Miss Q had no idea Miss Bieber was a mind reader.
 So yeah, he's a Beancurd.

Alright boys and girls stay with me. Are you ready?

The boys and girls in the class tend to gravitate toward each other. This is life. Not Beancurd.
Miss Q thinks, because of his smallness, he doesn't identify with the other boys. At lunch, he almost always sits with the girls. Specifically, with Miss Bieber. Miss Beiber explained to me one day that she and Beancurd were sort of bff's. Beancurd clings to her.

Miss Q remembers not being able to figure out how, if those two could have such a nasty fight, why do they always sit together? Loud, anxious, and whiny Beancurd with quiet, sassy, and sly Miss Bieber. At first, Miss Q thought she viewed him like a little brother. But now it seems different. She's not just a friend. She's looking after him because she sees him almost like a little baby to take care of. As if compensating for how small he is. THAT must've been why he got so upset that day, when Miss Bieber was mad at him. When Miss Q tried to talk to him and distract him, he seemed obsessed with what Miss Bieber could be saying about him behind his back.

That day he'd been so defensive. And that's what he does. Lately he's been in a lot of trouble. He has this loud, tinny voice and likes to shout out randomly or chatter constantly. This Friday, he got in an argument over the seat at the lunch table with Uniqua. Skinny Jeanz had sat there first. Miss Q saw it.

"I didn't want him in this class." huffed Uniqua. She was thinking of their past beef where she got in trouble and called him a snitch. Miss Q didn't think much of it. They'd be on good terms the next day. Besides Miss Beiber had told her Beancurd, Skinny Jeans, Uniqua, and her had been tight for a long time.

But why was Beancurd so pushy, so defensive, loud, and whiny? Always 'look at me I'm being treated unfairly'? Miss Q thinks (and boy did she do some thinking) he wants to be heard. To make sure he's not being pushed around or ignored, small or not. Miss Q has words for him.

Thats it.
No longer are we shooting basketballs blindfolded over our shoulders. Each of the turtles has a specific weakness.

Co-pilot has one weakness Miss Q can think of which is his dependency in following behind Zefron and his friends. Otherwise he's a model student. Easy. Win Zefron and you've won Co-pilot.

Miss Q has been pushing Nala away and she needs to stop. Nala is different from Fate. She seeks attention in a different way than Fate. Neither of her parents live at home. Nala sees a role model in Miss Q.
"Look Miss Q, we match."

Nala's skin is dark like hers. That day, her skirt matched Miss Q's dress.
Friday, she let herself be partnered with Nala in the Library Scavenger hunt. Remember Miss Q, Nala actually needs attention. It's different.

As for Fate, Miss Q has words prepared for her too. Honesty and frankness will come in handy the next time she's in one of her moods. Only she ought to specifically wait for the right moment so the words hit home.

It's crazy how these things occur to you when you least expect it. This weekend, Miss Q was up at way too early in the morning scribbling this down. And now she's got words.

She has words for when the class acts crazy in line, words for individual awkward turtles, and words for situations that some up. But what's most exciting is that she now knows her expectations could be higher, that she could get them to move towards something. And there are plans. When specific targets are revealed to you, you can make plans.

This writing has actually helped me because now I know that there are specific weaknesses and the only limit to how I target them is my own imagination. Just like you don't get better game by throwing basketballs over your shoulder or repair a house my throwing bricks at it, you can't be dynamic with kids unless you can figure out what they really need. Miss Q thinks she's on to some things:

I hope Beancurd is as whiny, disagreeable, and as obnoxious as possible.

I want Fate to get in one of her moods. Bring it on. Bring the drama.

I want everyone to line up like zoo animals. Can't wait.

Monday, I want to have a blog post called Ready. Aim. Shoot. Target. Warning: there might be dancing involved.

2/16/11: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: It All Hangs Out (Blog 4)

Miss Q's about to give you an honest breakdown of what went on today. The sitch. The skinny. Things that were good and some things that make me wonder if I was thinking at all? It's weird to write it. You usually don't think. You react.

Yesterday afternoon I had one of those fits of inspiration. They come in short creative bursts and I entertain some really awful ideas For instance, ever fought out an argument in your head? The scene goes off flawlessly as you script your artful version of Telling Someone Off. You're furious and angry but somehow your reasoning is flawless. Finally you hear a chorus of amens as your opponent goes to eat their humble pie.

Yeah, not that kind of idea this time. It never goes down like that in real life anyway.

This time I was thinking about how the turtles act at lunch. Some, like Princesstard, Nancy Drew and Mariska, talk quietly amongst themselves. Or you know, semi-quiet. However, once they finish eating they start to argue, get loud, mess with their food, roughhouse and flick cake at each other. Just like high school.

Obviously part of it is that they're bored out of their minds sitting there. Do they not find each other interesting enough?

So naturally, the answer is to hit them with Honors Civics and Spanish 2 material.

I really enjoyed picturing their brains fry trying to name the three branches of government and any ridiculously hard questions I could come up with. Hee hee hee.
"Come on guys, you need to know this stuff." Why, you ask?

• It would keep them occupied.  Grandma used to say the idle mind is the devil's workshop.

• They'd like the challenge. They're just crazy enough to go for it. Fourth graders are fearless. They can do anything.

• I'd feel like I'd actually be teaching them something instead of distracting them. Maybe broaden their minds so that they reach for knowing things about the government and conjugating verbs in Spanish.

• I'd make sure that when they got to High School, they'd be ready.

• When my Civics teacher sees that some of her students are beasting at Civics concepts already, they'll say," Oh. That's 'cause Miss Q taught me." Then she'll go, "Oh. Well, of course Miss Q. I mean naturally."

In my world, it'd turn out exactly like that. But even besides those reasons, I think it was because I was getting too comfortable.
Now, I can see from the point of view of some of the older cadets. I'm not as professional yet, but once you get used to a classroom and get familiar, you see just how much more opportunity is there. I can see how they get their drive but still feel the need to be tough on themselves. With so many different things, I start to feel like I'm not even doing 10 % of what I could be doing. Like I'm shooting basketballs turned around backwards with my eyes closed.
It doesn't dishearten me, but with the idea in mind, I felt that much more excited about trying it the next day.

Because in Civics, we were watching a movie, I decided my crazy challenge would come from Spanish 2.

Todos los dias, Zefron le gusta dar Mariska un abrazo enorme.

Now kids, translate that. Yes, I'm crazy.

However, the thing I like about Spanish is that it can be so intuitive. Suppose you've never even taken Spanish. What does the word enorme look like?  Or un. what number in English looks like un? Dias? What could I possibly be talking about?

The Spanish word for arms is brazos. What could an abrazo be?

When I arrive, SkinnyJeanz is the first to call me and come running for a hug. From far off I might have heard Nala shout out Miss Q but I wasn't sure.

About three conversations were going at once. Nala was all abuzz about how our outfits matched (me with my black dress and patterned tights and her with her lacy ruffled black skirt), Idaho was going on about... something (forgive me! I no one else is guilty of failing to cherish all the precious words that come out of their mouths but sometimes I am.) And none of it came out clear because I was looking at Fate and CP.

Fate had become Lucy the trick-doing cat of many languages with CP as her owner. I was real glad Fate could consistently get along with someone.

"Lucy!" CP was pretty darn commanding. "Now, speak frrrench." she said, rolling her r's masterfully.
"Banuladeiuuuu!"
Huh?

Now would be a good time to say: And speaking of languages, lets hop to lunch time, but there's some foreshadowing to do.

Talking to Mariska and Copilot, two of the three redheads in the class, I learned a not-so-surprising fact.

"Mariska likes Zefron!" he announced, all charm with his big smile and military haircut.
"Really? How shocking!" I said, insinuating the opposite.

I mean, what was not to like about Zefron? He's intelligent, outgoing, has warm brown eyes, and a good sense of humor. And hadn't her two bff's, Princesstard and Nancy Drew arranged the whole "forcing"-him-to-say-he-liked-her thing?

"You must be a pretty trusted friend for such a secret right?"

"No." Mariska shrugged. "He'll tell him."
"Yep. He's my friend."
It was part of the guy code.

"He does know already."
"I know. You liked him in second grade too!"

Have you figured out what my Spanish phrase translates to yet? Talk about a coincidence.

CP wasn't the only one about to teach languages.

The Good:

Because some of the awkward turtles were watching Tuck Everlasting, I was in charge of twelve. Sitting with Fruitbat, Nala, Idaho, and Fate, I sprang into action as soon as I saw that first ranch dressing get passed on across the table.

"Alright guys. I am tired of watching you guys pick your noses and throw cake at each other." Don't say stuff like this if you know you have no sense of humor.

Giggles.

"You're mean, Miss Q." remarked Idaho.

"That's right. Whoever can help each other figure out this Spanish phrase gets a sheet of paper from my notebook." I said with lots of brovado.

Somehow they ate this up. Idaho had gotten one earlier for being the first to locate Mrs. Bridington for me (hey she felt like she should get a prize, that's what I came up with). They still would have done it without a prize.

When I read the phrase, I immediately had their attention. I knew I had to give them a lot of clues, but they were quick to catch on. What suprised me was that Nala, usually softspoken and distracted, seemed to catch on the quickest.

"What does the word dias sound like?"

"Dolls?"

"Daffodils?"

"Days." said Nala.

Amidst all the guesses, it was Nala who got that enorme meant huge before I gave a hint about it. She figure the sentence was something like Every day, Zefron likes to something a huge smile.

This fascinates me because I know in order to make the connection, you can relate the word to enormous, which is not something everyone does when learning languages. Like me, with chemistry, some people have to repeat concepts again and again to understand. Nala made the connection before I gave the translation:

Every day, Zefron likes to give Mariska a big hug.

They really caught on with it being Zefron and Mariska. They're a perceptive bunch. Honestly, when I came up with it, it was more to poke fun at Zefron than having to do with Mariska's crush.

Gave Boo a compliment. He smiled. Quiet doesn't seem like a way of hiding for him. It's just his way of experiencing things.

When Nala passed out her late Valentines, Dubby took his lollipop and in his hands, it became an eye wrench. Remember when I said Dubby could stick his toungue out and touch the back of his head? He just seems to have a different way of looking at things.

The Bad:

I hate the smell of  hard boiled eggs. I told them so and they made sure to give me a whiff.

Are The Gage, Freakazoid and Mook not supposed to sit together or what? Why does no one know for sure?

When I took my twelve turtles to the water fountain, Idaho and Nala preferred to lean on the wall by me instead of getting in line.

"Why aren't you listening to me? You tell other people to listen?" I asked Idaho, gently.

They seemed to look at me like 'oh Miss Q, you know you like me too much to really mean for me to get my tail back in line', but they got it eventually. At that point you stop smiling, ignore their conversation, and stick to your guns.

The Gage is interesting. He talks to me just fine but he likes to show that he can do his own thing. During cursive, I watched him flip through the finished papers stacked in the middle.

"I want mine on top!" he said, despite there being no talking. As we walked into art, he and Nala hopped into chairs next to me when everyone else sat on the carpet.

"This is my seat."

And Nala just had to sit in a seat because she was wearing a skirt. The art teacher didn't go for that. When they still didn't move, I volunteered, "I'll sit on the carpet." I like sitting with them. Ladylike, with legs tucked under. Immediately, Nala hops off the seat to sit beside me, imitating my position.

The Gage looked doubtful.

"Wanna sit here? We'll miss you."

I'd hoped that by sitting down, I demonstrated that sitting in the big chair didn't make you All That. Now he was sitting by himself. His eyes seemed to say he was about to come sit but when he got up he got called on to help with art supplies.

He also talked at random, blurting out and earning the class silent lunch. The looks Solomon, Dubby, and Co-pilot flung back at him were so perfectly 'way-to-go', too.

I don't know why The Gage seems to needs do things The Gage Way like that. I usually think if you feel like you need your paper to be on top, it's really because you think yours is on the bottom. Hmm.

Why is The Brit sitting at the front of the class? He and Dexter are usually models of good behavior.

The Ugly:

That day, Miss Q was waiting for Los Compadres to be on their merry way to Anderson so she could play a trick on them. She ended up failing miserably.

Seeing Ms. Odd in her office, I made a secretive shush sign, as I waited for their approach. When I heard footsteps I jumped out from the side but instead of a scared Ar-bear and Stew, there was only a confused Hispanic girl. Mr. German, who just happened to walk by, had a nice laugh on his way around the corner.

What the heck, Miss Q?

The teaching companions were, of course, several paces behind the girl. Too smug, as if to say they were used to and could always easily avoid Miss Q's crazyness. Ay ay ay.

Fate was in one of her moods today. She might have managed to offend everyone.

Miss Q made a blunder and asked Fruitbat how many she had invited to her upcoming sleepover that Saturday, failing to notice how she purposely sat a seat apart from Fate. On my left was Idaho, whom I knew had been invited.

"I'm not allowed to talk about it." said Fruitbat.

"Why?" (Ugh. Shut up!)

She thumbed in Fate's direction. That got her started.

"See? Everyone hates me."

Earlier she told me that my lil buddy from Miss Beautiful and Big L's class had started liking her, but now hated her again. Oh boy.

"Mook even admitted he hates me." Mook looked apologetic.

"We can't help our feelings."

At the same time Nala, tired of Fate's dramatics, started nosing into my notebook, her dark eyes no doubt resting on the scribble reading: she hates me again.

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing."

Evasive action.

Fate while snappish, is very protective of me. I watched her glare at Nala as she tried to peek into my notebook.

"Excuse me? Why are you being so nosy?" her voice took on a nasty tone I didn't like. I didn't think this at the time but where could she have learned that tone from? It didn't seem very childlike.

Nala, usually shrugging affably at Fate's abuse, got angry this time.

"You were were nosy in So-and-so's class!" and back and forth. But Fate was so abrasive with it, I told her to come talk to me.

"How come every time you get angry you feel like you can be nasty to people like its nothing?" I asked.

"Well, I don't know." she said, referring to her anger issues."I was just trying to help."

After explaining that I could handle it and wanted her to worry about being nice, I asked if she could give Nala an apology and she agreed. Just like that.

"I'm sorry!" her look accused Nala from across the table. But she did want to say sorry.

"Do you accept her apology?"

And boys and girls do you know Nala kept staring at me and eating her cheesy broccoli?

"I'm gonna keep on bein' mean since you didn't accept my 'pology!" Fate decided.

"You got a lot more stuff to apologize for!"

This was Nala's explanation to me for not accepting. "I tried to be nice to her but..."

I said a lot of things, but it felt like I was saying nothing. One of you has to be nice first. The point of an apology is is for the other person, not you. Blah blah.

Fate wants to be the bigger person. She likes to say "I'm going to do the smart thing and end it." But the way she says it usually starts everything back up again.

When fate brings drama, there will be drama. As I write this, my mom and I talk, going back to the days when I too had best friends that would be mad at me and make up with me the next day. I was dramatic and had no perspective too. So I can't help but have a little grace when looking at Fate.

What can I teach her though? That she's overdramatic, selfish, and insecure? How is she different from anyone else in that case? She's also nine. In elementary I remember being melodramatic but I never felt so persecuted and defensice towards all my classmates like she is. How did I learn to deal with things differently? Time? Experience? Constant teaching? Grace.

But she listens to me. I see her eyes when she's unsure what to do and something nasty she was about to say gets held back in her mouth. Just like when I saw Freakazoid's eyes looking back at me in Art, watching me to see if I notice how quiet he's being. I made sure to mention some of that when I talked to her.

Freakazoid is a different matter.

"Freakazoid wants to go on a date with you!"

"No I don't!"

Whether he did or not, I just love him. I mess with him sometimes and while he used to act out towards me, he now acts sweet. Almost like the tables have switched.

There you have it.



Happy V Day! (Blog 3)

If there are 10 copycats on a branch and one falls off, how many are left?

Freakazoid has to learn to get up earlier in the morning to get Miss Q with that one. Especially if she overheard Solomon trick him earlier.

Miss Q's awkward turtles (as she like to call them) are full of riddles and questions.
CP just wanted to know if Miss Q had told "all the boys and girls over there" about the Chinese lessons she had been giving. Miss Q nodded, even though she couldn't quite remember if shedid or not.

" Can my codename be Cheerio?" asked Fruitbat.
"Guess what I watched last night?" asked Freakazoid.
"Is that for me?" asked Nala, referring to my Spongebob Valentines.

It gets a little hard to keep up with.

Miss Q was tired, but together with Big L and his complex basketball  game Valentines, managed to get excited.

The awkward turtles were outside. Miz was overseeing a ball passing game with some of the rowdier boys, which included Beancurd and Freakazoid. Uniqua, and some other girls I met were watching.

After chatting for a bit, one side of Miz Boss' lip curled upward. Miss Q had long ago recognized that this was Miz Boss' way of saying something ought to change. Miz Boss' daughter, who sits behind her in Civics does the same thing. Only slightly curled this time, though.

"Want me to get 'em away?" Miss Q offered?
"Sure."

As Miss Q approached some of the girls in the classm they immidiately moved away. She manged to organize two races before it was time to go in for lunch.

At lunch, she was a bit overwhelmed by how loud some of them were. Afterward she would wonder if there was a better way to get them to quiet down.

When they're lining up, it seemed easier to get their attention and to ask "Where are my awkward turtles." Then they knew they were being Looked At, so they held up their respect signs or did their awkward turtles to show off their good behavior.

But at lunch, they liked to act silly. When they were laughing and having fun, it was hard for her to want to talk to them and want them to be quiet.

But today she just wanted them to be quiet.

As they lined up, just as Miss Q was about to ask for her Awkward Turtles, an angry teacher came up. She meant business:

"What kind of example are you setting for these younger kids in here? I've had some of you last year and I know your parents would be upset with you..."

It worked. Accept Memphis was hyper and he and Nala were kicking at each others feet. Miss Q was about to walk toward them when Lady Justice swooped in again.

She grabbed his shoulder and turned him aside, forcing him to face her.

"After I just spoke to your class? Really? How about we act our ages."

Memphis just stood there and hung his shoulders. The turtles were solemn after that. What's the word for it? Repentant? Compliant?

Afterward Miss Q wondered, what if she wasn't mean enough? Maybe she had to make her tone more direct to get their attention. She pictured herself, eyes and face hard, voice srict and commanding. She could do that, right? Easy.

But wait. Lady Finch almost never got angry and neither did Mr. German.
Now she really had a lot to think about.

Miss Q slipped the Valentines into little Froggie Bags that the Awkward turtles had made just for the occasion. They were really excited to get them.

She thought about each of them.

Some of her most consistent relationships were with Freakazoid, Fruitbat, Fate, CP, Nala, and Zefron. These are the ones that go out of her way to get her attention every day.

"Hey Freakazoid are you gonna sing Justin Beiber for me today?" Miz Boss' daughter informed her that he had sung to her. And if you squint your eye he kind of looks like him too.

"DNooo." He seemed embarrassed. But it was soo cute. He likes to tell Miss Q all the cringeworthy stuff he does over the weekend, with all the confidence of someone who knows you can't really do anything about it.

"I'll whisper it in your ear okay?"

He and the Gage watched the Excorcist.
Gah

That's Freakazoid, a roughhouser, a joker, a teaser, an all around boy.

Fruitbat is quiet, thoughtful, and loves all things quirky. Miss Q had to keep her from reading a Horror Encyclopedia during Math.

Miss Q didn't mention Solomon, but she loves to talk to him because he says some pretty deep things from time to time. She should probably record them more. He once found a typo in the dictionary, and Miss Q
wanted to send a letter to the publisher.

CP is extremely enthusiastic about school. She gives me language lessons and demands full attention. But she's also considered weird by a lot of the other class. They avoid her. She doesn't seem to mind, though. She clings to me, though

Nala is quiet and gets nervous about work. She's been held back a grade. Neither of her parents live at home with her, and her mother calls her to check her homework.

Zefron has been talking to Miss Q a lot lately. He's the ladies man. Not that he doesn't try to pretend that it's torture. His fan club includes Mariska, Nancy Drew, and Princesstard, a trio of ladylike intellectuals. They banter across the lunch table.

Boo is still quiet. Involved and open with Zefron, but an unlockable puzzle to Miss Q.

Q-Tip of the Day: What do you do do when you have a conflict?

Fate: "You go tell the teacher and tell you you're going to be the smart one and walk away!"

Q: How bout this? Go tell the teacher. Calm down and forgive them first. And then go confront them. That's for the future because when you get older, people don't do this a lot.

Fate is my stalker child. She rubs people the wrong way. She can be bossy. Snappish. But she's probably the one that Miss Q's the most invested in. There's a lot of promise in her smile.