May 25th, 2011 ( Week 5)

Miss Q's birthday.

Today, I got to work with Beancurd, Uniqua and Fate on EOC review. All three of them were only one point away. Uniqua, I knew was extremely nervous. The day of the test she ended up throwing up. I also know Fate has a tendency to take a long time, and somtimes get frustrated. Talking with Miz Boss, there's an interesting take on why Beancurd did so poorly.

He tried to cheat during the test apparently missing the fact that two different colored tests would provide different answers. He guessed. Why?

Miz Boss hinted at some underhandedness from his mother. Something about her making him fail to prove that he's 'disabled.' Weird.

Almost equally weird was how unlike Uniqua and fate, he was done early.

"Check it, please. I swear I didn't cheat (even though I don't swear) and I can even show you the work!" he said. He got almost all of them right. It was a bit suspicious, honestly.

"You'll do well on the test." I said.
"I won't." he replied, as a matter of fact.

Just what is going on with him?

May 16th, 2011 (Week 4)

For once, Miss Q did not look forward to music.

She'd been spoken to on behalf of Mr. Music to not spend any time conversing with awkward turtles during music because they were so chatty. I had a little suspicion thinking of Mr. Music. I almost pictured him with a little displeased expression, annoyed that a Cadet would dare fraternize with "the enemy". I'm sure it wasn't like that, though.

But he was right. That week, Miss Q thought she was being quite helpful to Beancurd by trying to answer his questions. I was just happy that for once he was into the lesson and not making noises at everyone else. Lady Finch explained how Miss Q often tuned out everything else to focus on one thing. Very true.

Sorry, Mr. Music. It was not a great feeling, but eventually, Miss Q enjoyed music again.

Miss Q places sticker bets on Beancurds eating habits. It might be working. Unfortunately, today Miss Q kept her sticker. Beancurd didn't eat anything.

May 10th, 2011 (Week 3)

Miss Q met a girl named Black Jack today. She's in the 5th grade. Not that that was her real name but I had just never met a girl named after a card game before. She smiled meekly before ducking back into her classroom.

Outside, Miss Q told Co-Pilot and the others the dilemma of choosing a different class to stay in during EOG week. Princesstard was awfully sweet.

"Promise not to like them more than us!" she said. Miss Q told them they were irreplaceable awkward turtles. After all, they were her first classroom.

At lunch, SkinnyJeanz was upset because Solomon was picking on her. On the inside, Miss Q gave a little snort. Solomon always picked on her. Did she not realize how much Solomon liked her and therefore liked picking on her? But no, today was different because her now they were embarrassing her in front of her boyfriend, Kidd Josh. Solomon supposedly has a girlfriend. It's like a big game that they play that's really confusing where they half flirt/half pick on each other.

Anyway, Miss Q dealt with it, careful not to give it more seriousness then it all deserved. Did it really matter what Solomon called her? Do she really think Solomon disliked her?

"It matters. It matters" she insisted. Beancurd with his cheesy grin and constant chatter also annoyed her, while still managing to look sort of adorable at the same time. He does this often.

Sometimes Miss Q wonders if SkinnyJeanz is not a little too preoccupied with being teased by Solomon and sometimes Zefron, and silly comments about her social life. She remains sweet, though.

When Miss Q asked Uniqua what she wanted to be when she grew up, Nala proudly named the career she'd chosen yesterday.

"I'm gonna be a neonatal nurse." Hopefully, her nervous fear of tests would be overcome.

"Who is?" said Uniqua. Miss Q pointed, smiling.

Uniqua wants to be a teacher.

Then Miss Q said nothing, 'cause why would someone want to do that?

May 3rd, 2011 (Week 2)

Miss Q came outside to chaos.

Dexter and Fruitbat are bad drivers.

"Miss Q wekeephittingsharpturns and both of our kids are lying bleeding on the floor!"
"Who's driving this thing?"
"I am! It's Fruitbat's fault! She was supposed to make me coffee this morning!"
"Why didn't you make him coffee this morning???"
"I DON"T KNOW!"

It was pretty bad. Sitting on the swings, Fruitbat and Dexter apparently started off on a peaceful drive with their imaginary family. But it was hardly a minute before the Chippettes ran up. Nancy Drew was jumping up and down over the little tyke that said the s-word (gasp)... sexy. Or at least I think that's what they were excited about. Princesstard talks fast when she's excited.

"Let's go back to see if he'll do it again!"
Then Co-pilot and Mariska raced to see who would tag Miss Q first today. I forget who won.

Speaking of winning, Miss Q and the turtles had a fun bet today. On my right Miss Bieber and Beancurd. In front of me in order was Nala, Fate, Uniqua and Skinny Jeanz who was now on crutches thanks to a softball accident. It might be the second time this year.

The Girls table (which always includes Beancurd) was fun and interesting. Miss Q had been wondering how Fate and Uniqua became so buddy-buddy this week. Fate actually explained.
"I started hanging out with them a few days. Just not at recess. Cause so-and-so doesn't like me." Then they talked and talked. Fate even talked to Beancurd. Or tried to. She told him he better be nice to her, since she gave him that thing. "Yak yak yak" said Beancurd. Which is what Beancurd likes to do. Except he was stangely quiet.

Like clockwork he eventually got up to leave to go take his medicine, leaving half of a sub. Wait.

What?

"Whoah. Beancurd's eating!" Miss Q announced, awed because a fourth grader was eating at lunch.
"I know!" said Miss Beiber. Beancurd almost never ate. That's why he's a Beancurd.

Soon Miss Q had a bet with Miss Bieber. I said he would eat all the rest of his sandwhich when he came back. Miss Bieber said he would only eat half. If Miss Beiber won, she'd get Miss Q's visitor sticker. The rest of The Girls agreed to stay quiet and not mention it to see what happens.

"Miss Rrrrrr." We waved at Miss R. Laughing, because Miss Q didn't say her name loud enough.
"Quick, act normal."

As soon as Beancurd came back, the turtles made these very subtle gestures to manipulate the outcome.

"Eat it already!!"
"No, don't finish it."
"Shhhh. AHHAHa"

It was major fun. Miss Beiber and I laughed anough to add years to our lives. Beancurd eventually finished his sandwhich, drawing out the last chews as long as possible. Miss Q got to keep her sticker.

This was before they got in line and Beancurd apparently did something awful.

I told Co-Pilot to try and be forgiving toward Mook and why he was probably acting annoying and that he probably actually wanted to be friends.

After cursive during reading time, Miss Beiber said,

"Miss Q, I know Beancurd's gonna talk to me. Can he move?"

Hmmm.

We made a deal. If Beancurd talked, Miss Beiber would get Miss Q's visitor sticker. I ended up keeping it.

But not before Beancurd came up to Miss Q twice. How do you pronounce sea anemone? Have you ever seen piranha?

After a deep discussion on both topics, Miss Q noticed a pattern.

Whenever faced with the challenge of not talking. Beancurd had plenty of questions. I thought this was something positive. Later of course, I found out he had told Rickster to 'move aside fatty' right in front of Miss R, who was mortified.

Miss Q was a bit embarrassed. I wonder if his family may have thought in endearing at first, how he says the first thing that comes to his mind. But other than that, it was a good day.

May 5th, 2011 (Week 2)

Teacher Cadet is cancelled next year.

Miss Q took a spelling test with the awkward turtles and failed to spell addend right, but teacher cadet was cancelled next year.

At lunch they called out for Miss Rrrr. Mr. Willard came to eat with us. Miss Q played the games on the backs of the milk cartons with Fate. ("You can't be crashin' through walls to get through the maze!")But Teacher Cadet was cancelled next year.

At one point, Miss Q might have tried to explain that Teacher Cadet was cancelled next year. As I was still there, and they didn't see how it affected them, they shrugged.

Beancurd was so silly today. The combination of Zefron, Uniqua, The Brit and Skinny Jeanz made a funny table. But as the little flutes played during Music and the teacher threatened to throw Beancurd out for the second time, Miss Q wondered exactly what where she would be.

Mr. German put it this way. "Do you want to be a teacher or hang out with the people in Teacher Cadet?" I wanted both.

"I always liked doing the independent thing. The people in groups can be whiny." he added, as if thinking back to some program he went through.
Hmm.
Mr. German's optimism was appreciated. But I can't put an estimate on the strength I get from seeing other Teacher Cadets. It's almost as if I felt I was competent and capable at teaching simply because Lady Finch or some Cadet insisted or told me I was. I will miss this.

Although I don't make a clear comparison, I consider myself the least deserving or entitled to a Teacher Cadet class. But because I took chemistry last year, I know when it's worthy to pursue something, even if you don't aren't immediately good at it. To me, that's something to be proud of.

Monday May 2nd, 2011

Miss Q's birthday is in 22 days. That just came to mind.

Miss Q's thoughts are constantly changing. The low level of anxiety that sometimes attended her was gone today. Maybe this was a result of all the hoping, praying, and thinking she'd done this weekend that took her mind off herself.

Zefron returned. Everyone was here except for one boy, the one that Miss Q had thought about all weekend. Memphis had ten days of suspension to serve. But I'll tell you everything Miss Q goes through for and with him later.

At lunch, Miss Q struggled to make Dubby see the seriousness of his rudeness to Mook. However, Mook, who's ego was already bruised began to try to annoy Co-Pilot and Dubby back. Miss Q has learned that this is Mook's way of putting up a shell to protect his feelings. If I can be obnoxious, than I don't have to let you know that you hurt my feelings.

But since I'm thinking about it now, should Miss Q tell him that? If Miss Q talked about it to Dubby, would that make him understand? With kids, sometimes it doesn't hurt to go beneath the surface. We'll see. Finally Miss Q asked him to finish telling her about the World of Warcraft game. Again, his eyes lit up.

Listening, someone might see the connection between the violence and raw nature of his video games and the mean-spirited nature of his insults toward Mook and play with Co-Pilot ("Let go of his arm"). But changing the topic got him off focus from his clash with Mook.

For some reason, Miss Q felt a bit tense after that, as if something bad was about to happen. It must have shown because a few times, the turtles looked a bit spooked when they caught her looking at them.
Fate's attitude toward Miss Q was cool today.
"How's the baby sister?"
She stuck her thumb up. Then she asked to move so as to not sit next to "them", meaning the Boy Band.

Once she looked up at me and stared at me for ten straight seconds like a deer caught in the headlights. Honestly, I didn't mean to stare. But I did wonder what was up with her.

Today, we got to go to gym to see Mr. Willard. Jailbreak is a favorite. He and Miss Q both agreed that the awkward turtles made up the best and most interesting class. Leading by example and with of competitive nudging, Miss Q was able to get everybody to aim for Mr. Willard on the other side. By arguing playfully with Beancurd over who would hit Stew first, Beancurd pegged him out twice. It was a lovely game.

Beancurd drove me crazy on while the class were waiting on the steps listening to directions. He seems to talk compulsively, but at the same time we still have a relationship. In the reading corner, there's a little beach chair. Today, the boy got stuck when the chair caved in on him and Miss Q had to help him out. It was so funny to see him trying to look innocent after I looked back to see if he would do it again on purpose.

March 28th, 2011 (Week 1)

"Where is everybody?"

Zefron, Dexter, Princesstard, and Memphis were currently out. The lack of their specific awkwardness was apparent throughout the day.

Later, Miss Q found out that Memphis had been suspended for suggesting another kid bring a pocket knife. That's ten days that he'll be back in his home with only his older brother and Grandma. No parents. His home situation explains a lot to me, including all his miscievous ways of getting attention.

Miss Q must confess that she had started to believe that Beancurd misbehaved just for the sake of misbehaving. Sometimes it's easy to understand how "I-always-got-somethin-to-say" can be part of a kids personality, especially one as tiny as Beancurd. But, just like in art yesterday, he chooses to act as if he wanted to be sent out of the room.

It was music day today and Miss Q sat directly behind him on the carpet. As she hoped, it calmed him a bit. Now that I think about it, some of that chatter seems to come from this little anxiety he seems to keep with him. He still made these wonderful little screeching sounds on his recorder and giggled (fess up Miss Q, you even giggled) but he didn't talk to everybody nearly as much. Instead he actually turned around and asked Miss Q about the lesson.

"Uhhh, which one is da A?" he asked. By now of course Beancurd and Mr. Music had established a very familiar relationship that went beyond words. When your nickname is "certain people in this class", then you can say that. So Miss Q was surprised to see Beancurd genuinely confused. It was interesting that because he couldn't goof off and he felt like the teacher was the enemy, he ended up asking Miss Q questions. She explained it to him. He still has trouble with the fingerings. I think from now on, whenever Beancurd gets into 'let-me-act-annoying because so-and-so already thinks I am' stage, Miss Q will ask him whether he knows what's going on.

Miss Q's retainer that she had for her (cancelled) orthodontist appointment was newsworthy. (oh yeah! Miss Q was sitting in front of Fate all the way at the end. Idaho said, "Come over here!" but this time Miss Q said, "Ya'll come over here!" and so she managed to get The Brit, Idaho, and Fate to have a nice lunch together. It was great!)
The Brit tried to make a retainer out of styrofoam. That made Miss Q laugh. Fate was pleasantly excited. She wanted to be with her mother as she was having the baby.

Miss Q made a blunder when she said goodbye to Miss Finn.

"What did you say?" asked Miss Beiber.
"Miss Finn?" But it was too late. She and The Gage had zeroed in on Miss Q's slip up like some kind of radar. The funniest part was The Gage's expression.

"Arbear? Really?"

2/22/11: Ready. Aim... (Blog 6)

When Miss Q walked over to the playground yesterday, one particular awkward turtle was there walking a lap as if purposely placed there for Miss Q's sake.

Beancurd.

And he was upset over something. Yes.

"I don't like Miz Boss at all." he said. "She always picks on me. Even My momma says so. And when Miss Bieber was doing such-and-such..." Miss Q let him vent anxiously for a bit.

"You do talk a lot." she reminded evenly.

"Yeah, but I just don't think it's fair."

"Hey look, every time I see you, you're always so anxious. Like someone's gonna ignore you or push you around or treat you unfairly. You're thinkin' you have to be so defensive but no one else sees you that way. No one's gonna push you around. Not if I can help it. Do you think I'd let anybody push you around if I could help it?"

"No." he said, looking only slightly less anxious.

Miss Q figured it was at least a good start. She pictured herself being able to say, "Hey what happened? You didn't have to do that. I said I wouldn't let people push you around, remember?" Beancurd is small, but Miss Q wants him to act big.

After that, the Gage, Freakazoid, and Mook came over and they were all excited because apparently, Freakazoid got caught in the middle of a sandstorm. That kind of thing is always fun.

Memphis was back. He hangs sort of aloof from everybody. He's one you can tell, isn't really into being in full compliance with the group. School for him so far meant getting in trouble. Though quiet on the outset, at every other moment he was intent on getting away with his own thing. He talks to Miss Q, though.

"I was raised in the ghetto." he says in his natural southern drawl at lunch when Miss Q comments on his tough-guy demeanor. Hmm.

"Shut up." he says suddenly to The Gage. "I'm mad at you." After a beat he says, "My brother was a fighter. He does UFC, wrestling... He taught me how to fight." He went on to explain that he had punched or fought every boy at the table at least once exluding Dexter and the Brit. The boys then talked about the various kids he had challenged. You could tell they thought Memphis was cool, if not particularly nice.

"His future's a bit scary." remarked Miz Boss, watching Memphis at his mischief in the bathroom.

I know you don't like getting in trouble all the time.

The words were starting to form in Miss Q's head. What to say to him. How to draw him in. This is one of the things that guy at the conference said. They really don't like getting in trouble all the time. Acknowledge it. When they're at their worse, don't just send them away. Draw them into you.

That day, Miss Q remembered to say happy birthday to Fruitbat, who's sleepover had been this Saturday. Uniqua attended, but Miss Bieber wasn't able to come.

Nala's brother was coming home the next day for his birthday and the same age as Miss Q's brother. He was 21, celebrating 'becoming a man', and "sorta skipped college". himself since 'he's a man'. Today, instead of a loose ponytail with flyaways, Nala's hair had been intricately cornrowed into a neat bun with a scrunchy that reminded you of confetti. Her mother had done it, so that meant she was back home for her birthday. Miss Q smiled, happy for Nala because of the way her own mother used to do up her hair.

"You shouldn't be afraid of him." said Nala, refering to Memphis' tough reputation. She and Memphis weren't exactly getting along that day.

"The only person I'm afraid of is my brother." she said with obvious respect and reverence.

They turned off the lights at lunch and everyone was quiet. Mook, Freakazoid, and The Gage had been loud and they got pointed out. Zefron?

"They act like this is some kind of fancy restaurant."

During work The Gage sometimes gets a bit loopy, looking over other people's papers and things like that. It was funny to watch Princesstard try to be diplomatic after saying several times, they'd already fixed an answer on the board.

He definitely gets loopy with cursive. The Gage has a way of letting you know he doesn't like an assignment without saying anything about it. However, he seeemed intent on doing it.

"My cursive stinks." he says holding out his paper, chin laid out on the desk.

"Hmm. It actually looks better than if you'd never tried. It actually looks better than yesterday's." said Miss Q. In all honesty, Miss Q had no idea what his cursive looked like yesterday. But the important thing was that in doing it, he was, in fact getting better than if he hadn't done it.

"It's hard..." he lets Miss Q know again as she walks away.

Lining up to go to gym, Miz Boss was doing her thing to motivate the kids. Exactly the thing Miss Q had in mind to start doing.

"Everything turns out better if you work as a team. Take for example..." she said, searching. Miss Q had been in a musical recently.

"A play." Her eyes widened as she smiled. she had seen Miss Q in Hairspray.

"A perfect example. When you're on stage, if everyone does their part right (you were fabulous by the way Miss Q) only then does it look good. One person can't support the whole show by doing their best. Everyone has to help the team out. I want some footballs from you guys." Footballs were for good class behavior.

"And can I add one thing?" asked Miss Q. "There are some of you that do what they're supposed to even when no one's watching. I want all of you to be like that."

Miss Q looked at Freakazoid, Mook, and The Gage. She had gotten their attention.

In gym they were really goin' for it. Everyone sat quietly on the first step, paying full attention. Although unclear whether by choice, The Gage was sitting apart from Mook and Freakazoid and was paying attention.

"You're doing good Gage." Miss Q made sure to tell him. It's good for him to hear positive things for a change.

The gym lady came over with a friendly smile and asked about Miss Q. Yep, I go to Such-and-such High School. I'm here for Teacher Cadet. It's fun with them, isn't it?

"What were you sayin' to them just now?" She has a bright voice and a slight southern accent that Miss Q likes.

"I want them to have integrity." said Miss Q, making sure they could hear her. "'Cause not enough people in this world have it."

That day in gym, the awkward turtles all went to get jump ropes. Right. Easy. Miss Q removed her heels. As Miss Q made her stupid way to the middle of the floor with her jump rope, Gym Lady announced that first they would be doing a couple of warm-ups first.

It was intense! Miss Q had to go around the rope galloping, hopping from side to side, duck squats and other things she had never even heard of. But in the midst of it, a competition between The Gage had developed as they counted to ten.
"Ha, Miss Q, I got there first!"
"No fair, my rope is bigger!"

Miss Q decided it was worth all the effort to see him smiling so much and having fun with her. Freakazoid obviously wanted in on it. We did "180's" back and forth across the jump ropes.

"I do 180's on my skateboard!" said Freakazoid. "Don't we, Gage.?"
"Sure you do." said Miss Q, messing with them. "Miss Q does 180's on her skateboard all the time, too."

Today, cool things happened.

I was slightly off about Beancurd. It was Mook who reminded him that he needed to do his Owl Project, so he didn't just interact with the girls exclusively. Freakazoid showed Miss Q a 25$ Amazon.com gift card he'd found.
"Really? Wow, you get to buy Miss Q something!"
"Nuooo."

In the lunch line, Miss Q asked the Gage how he did for the rest of the time at gym after she left.
"Good. I sweated harder than everybody."

In class Miz Boss took a few minutes to go to the bathroom. While still quiet, their tiny whispers got just a few decibel's louder. Because kids are smart, they can sense the difference between Miz Boss' talking limit and Miss Q's. However, Dubby and Princesstard were starting to talk to The Gage in a normal tone.

As Miss Q looked at The Gage a funny thing happened. Suddenly he stopped talking.

"Guys, not so loud." He said, looking back at me. Princesstard and Dubby looked at him like 'are you serious?' but he meant it.

Why would he do that?

You're doing good, Gage.
How'd you do at gym while I was gone?
Your cursive's better than it was yesterday.

Was that it?

Today, during cursive, he wanted Miss Q to sit next to him. She was happy to.
"See my cursive today? Look how good the 'd' is..."
He wanted to look at all Miss Q's Visitor Sticker photos. Between assignments, Miss Q obliged, amazed that she was as interesting to him as he was to her.

During the computer lab, The Gage was not allowed to sit by Mook or Freakazoid. Watching him stare off into space, 'sharpen' his pencil, and lean back in his chair, Miz Boss and Miss Q exchanged glances.

The Gage always started during these online answer-from-the-article assignments. Miss Q decided to sit beside him. That helped him get started. However, soon enough...

"This is hard." Reading wasn't really Gage's thing. He likes math.
"It's just like cursive."

Miss Q tried to urge him through number two and told him to keep working before she had to leave. As she walked out the door she whispered, "Bye guys, keep working hard, you can do it." nodding her head yes as
The Gage shook his head no. The Gage was just being The Gage, of course. Miss Q knows he can do it.

Miz Boss took the opportunity to show her sentimental side, which comes out often when talking about the turtles.
"It's so interesting to picture them as teenagers. Here, I've got some pictures I have to show you..."

The Gage as a teenager would definately be interesting.

2/19/11: Reflection Brings a Plan of Attack (Blog 5)

Reflection:

Thursday morning, Miss Q headed out of her driveway to the bustop. The salty beach strip was quiet but the sun lit the fog that surrounded her with an ethereal light. There was a soft humming everywhere that echoed in her own thoughtless singing. These were some of the first signs of spring. She was glad for it.

Miss Q hates the cold.

It wasn't just the sun. She felt like the humming also came from her brain. The observations and words, the laughter of children, and the ideas laid out on paper that reappeared everywhere were all starting to knit together in her mind.

The bus driver's eyes glazed over with disgust as the middle schoolers cussed their way on board. They were loud, bull-headed, and obscene or at least enough were to earn the daily look of contempt from the rest of the bus. Miss Q ignored their X-rated chatter, trying to remember the names of the newer faces.

I was never that obnoxious.

The thought sits in our heads and colors our complaints with hypocrisy.

 "I can't stand them. You just wanna punch 'em in the face."
"Why would you even wanna talk to them?"

Looking at them, Miss Q took one good guess as to why they acted.

Middle school is about drifting: the boredom, immaturity, selfishness, and the little crust of apathy that forms from inflated grades, hormones and no sense of Unity or Purpose. Miss Q considered herself lucky. Different programs, music, and teachers had acted as a grace for her and broke up the monotony.

And now she had the awkward turtles. She had the community. And with her eyes open, she might could say she had the whole world.

What did they have? Anything to laugh, celebrate, cry, or worry about? Was there any connection or any real acceptance and belonging? Did they even get it from freinds or family? Or are they just wrapped up in themselves like little vacuums of insecurity stuffing themselves with gossip, trends, drugs, and desperately trying to fit in?

That morning, instead of a vacuum that would be filled she felt like the giant pitcher of Sweet Tea sitting atop Granny's kitchen. It was carelessly offered, often spilling over. There was even enough for strangers.

Miss Q quietly disagreed with the people on her bus. They could easily change. There wasn't a manual for it, but the awkward turtles were helping her understand. As if it hadn't been part of the air Lady Finch breathed. As if it hadn't been apparent the whole time.

There's something in common among people in the military, strict and loving families, and those who take pride in their schools. The rules and punishments don't seem to them like burdens.There's an appreciation and some nostalgia about it. About the way things were, and things that were Kept. Complying wasn't a drag because they'd found a place with acceptance, traditions, and things that really needed to be done.

I think they call it positive peer pressure when you get the sense of "we like you, but there are some things we don't do here." There's a standard to follow. But it's the value behind the rules that eventually changes you. Uniforms and rules don't create unity in themselves, but acceptance and seeing a common truth does. Guess who wants it in her classroom?

Miss Q with her crazy self thinks she's now got what it takes to make it happen.

The bottom line is that the spirit of a group changes you. In a loving family, you do so in response to the acceptance already given to you. Whoah, whoah, whoah...
In response to the acceptance already given to you? Part of the belief I hold at the bottom of my heart?Bingo!
You see, as Miss Q was learning the ropes and testing the waters, sometimes her discipline relied on thier knowledge and fear of the consequences.

"I hope that's something you would do with Miz Boss around."
"Freakazoid, cut it out!"

Thankfully, she never did it that much. But Miss Q if you believe what you're reflecting on then you want the turtles to respond out of the currency of love and respect you create in the classroom rather than just fear of the consequences.

Oh.

Miz Boss' greatest strength is her steadfast conclusion that the turtles know exactly what they ought to be doing at all times. Her firm alto voice gives quick, decisive directions. This keeps the class structured, accountable, and really helped Miss Q because the standards were already set.

But Miss Q doesn't just want to remind some awkward turtles of the rules. The idea isn't to get them to not do things but to run toward things. And so, she has plans. The scenes are already playing out in her head. Oh, and did she tell you this?

She steals from you guys. Her family, too.

She hopes to steal Arbear's bluntness in confronting Fate, Big L's meekness, Lady Finch's... quality, Miss Tupper's passion, Miss Beautiful's drive, Queen Kindergarten (that's Cortney, ya'll) and her composure, Socrates with his rhetoric and integrity, and the women in her family with their dominance, warmth and patience. Yep, from now on, Miss Q would learn to steal everything good. Like Lions and Lambs n such.

The Skinny:

A while ago, Miss Q noticed the paper ice scream scoops stapled to the wall. Good behavior was sweet indeed. Nancy Drew's are piled up so that the stack leans over forward. Fate, Boo, Freakazoid and Nala have yet to get one. That was also the day Fruitbat asked Miss Q to feel the scar on her wrist. Before Miss Q let herself freak out, she asked,

"Had some surgery?"
"No. I was riding my bike and, well.. the tree did surgery for me."

But Friday, if I would've taken notes that day they would've said one thing. Things went well with the boys. The movie rotation had given Miss Q about twelve turtles this time. For lunch she sat down at the table with Mariska, Zefron, Boo, and Co-Pilot.  Mariska looked fancy that day, with her deep red hair curled in loose ringlets. But with her freckles, wide blue eyes, and dark red mouth she looks striking on any day. Of course Miss Q guessed that Mariska was more than content to be the only other girl at the table as long as she was in front of Zefron.

Zefron is hilarious. Until then, Miss Q had taken for granted his outgoing sense of humor. Soon, their relationship became a teasing and bantering one.

Sometimes the way to get to some students is through others. Miss Q never would have talked as much to Co-pilot without talking to Zefron, who was more than willing to talk. And of course, on the very end, cut off by Zefron, was Boo.

Miss Q has a more accurate view of Boo's personality now:

"I think Zefron might be the funny one." Miss Q remarked.
"No... it's me!" Mariska said with a squeal.
"Actually... I think Boo might be the funny one." Miss Q looked over for his reaction. He had a sly, secretive sort of smile on his face.
" Don't worry, he is. One time, Boo went up to this Chinese guy and..." Whatever he said, Miss Q didn't remember, only she knew it had been funny and completely unexpected for someone like Boo. She laughed.

"Read between the lines." Zefron held up three fingers. His smile was too big for his face.
Now, it took a minute before Miss Q realized the implications.
"Hey! Zefron! C'mere."
Miss Q had him change the fingers to something much less offensive. There, now it was fixed.
"Don't look at me, Boo taught me it!"

That was getting less and less hard to believe. Boo grinned. Now that she thought about it, Boo was pretty well regarded among the boys for someone so quiet. And he wasn't anything like boring if he was friends with Zefron. The pieces were starting to form together.

"I think Boo secretly mind controls you guys so that while he makes ya'll act all crazy, he just has fun and never gets in trouble."

It made perfect sense. He was the mastermind, the ringleader. Who knew what activity went on in that brain of his?

Other lunch topics included The Land Before Time Series, The Brit and Dexter and how one could picture them studying anthills with a magnifying glass("No. Dexter is like that, but not The Brit."), and Dubby's weird thing he does with his hands.

"Dubby's pretty funny. He always goes like this-- Aw dang, I don't know how he does it."
"Oh my gosh, he does do that!" said Miss Q, laughing. It was like he twisted his arms around each other and flung his hands at the same time. Only Dubby can do it right.

At the bathroom, Zefron pretends to wipe his hands off on Miss Q's coat.
"What if that coat hadn't been there?" he wondered.
"Then I'd have to kill you."
"You're mean, Miss Q."
Co-pilot told Miss Q about how his brother likes to come out the bathroom with his hands wet and attack him saying, "Don't you hate when you pee on your hands?" Haha. That's so messed up.

Everyone's mean for a reason.
Miss Q says this as she, Zefron and Co-pilot sharpen the pencils.
"Except for Zefron, he's just all full of meanness."
They'd been talking about some of the mean girls at the school. So it starts.
Miss Q makes sure they don't talk, trying not to laugh as they look at each other and look back at her.

When they sit down ("I think you're done sharpening pencils now") Co-pilot contines to look at Zefron across the table.
"Don't do it Co-pilot." Miss Q whispers with a smile. He grins sheepishly and turns back around. Miss Q loves it when they do that. When keeping them in check is fun and painless because you've already won their trust.

"Reading sucks," says Co-Pilot.
"Stinks." corrects Miss Q, without thinking. Simply because Lady Finch had commented on it one time.
Monday, she plans to tell them the only things that suck are vampires.

Miss Q was pretty sure she had that same trust with Freakazoid. During the library scavenger hunt, Miss Q partnered with Nala. Freakazoid had found Mook (recipe for trouble) but then said,

"I wish you were my partner--- not that Mook's not cool." he added for Mook's sake.

The last time she remembered, he had tried to tease her as if he wanted her to leave earlier that week in Reading Buddies.
Well dern.
She'd always thought his love language was insults.

The Heavy:

Oh my gosh. Beancurd!

Miss Q doesn't plan on revealing the codename meanings (more fun that way) so easily but oh. Beancurd.

At first Miss Q didn't quite realize why she decided he was Beancurd but then she knew. He was so little. At lunch he often only takes one little bite before pushing his tray aside.

"He never eats anything." said Miss Beiber when she saw Miss Q looking. "That's why he's so small." Miss Q had no idea Miss Bieber was a mind reader.
 So yeah, he's a Beancurd.

Alright boys and girls stay with me. Are you ready?

The boys and girls in the class tend to gravitate toward each other. This is life. Not Beancurd.
Miss Q thinks, because of his smallness, he doesn't identify with the other boys. At lunch, he almost always sits with the girls. Specifically, with Miss Bieber. Miss Beiber explained to me one day that she and Beancurd were sort of bff's. Beancurd clings to her.

Miss Q remembers not being able to figure out how, if those two could have such a nasty fight, why do they always sit together? Loud, anxious, and whiny Beancurd with quiet, sassy, and sly Miss Bieber. At first, Miss Q thought she viewed him like a little brother. But now it seems different. She's not just a friend. She's looking after him because she sees him almost like a little baby to take care of. As if compensating for how small he is. THAT must've been why he got so upset that day, when Miss Bieber was mad at him. When Miss Q tried to talk to him and distract him, he seemed obsessed with what Miss Bieber could be saying about him behind his back.

That day he'd been so defensive. And that's what he does. Lately he's been in a lot of trouble. He has this loud, tinny voice and likes to shout out randomly or chatter constantly. This Friday, he got in an argument over the seat at the lunch table with Uniqua. Skinny Jeanz had sat there first. Miss Q saw it.

"I didn't want him in this class." huffed Uniqua. She was thinking of their past beef where she got in trouble and called him a snitch. Miss Q didn't think much of it. They'd be on good terms the next day. Besides Miss Beiber had told her Beancurd, Skinny Jeans, Uniqua, and her had been tight for a long time.

But why was Beancurd so pushy, so defensive, loud, and whiny? Always 'look at me I'm being treated unfairly'? Miss Q thinks (and boy did she do some thinking) he wants to be heard. To make sure he's not being pushed around or ignored, small or not. Miss Q has words for him.

Thats it.
No longer are we shooting basketballs blindfolded over our shoulders. Each of the turtles has a specific weakness.

Co-pilot has one weakness Miss Q can think of which is his dependency in following behind Zefron and his friends. Otherwise he's a model student. Easy. Win Zefron and you've won Co-pilot.

Miss Q has been pushing Nala away and she needs to stop. Nala is different from Fate. She seeks attention in a different way than Fate. Neither of her parents live at home. Nala sees a role model in Miss Q.
"Look Miss Q, we match."

Nala's skin is dark like hers. That day, her skirt matched Miss Q's dress.
Friday, she let herself be partnered with Nala in the Library Scavenger hunt. Remember Miss Q, Nala actually needs attention. It's different.

As for Fate, Miss Q has words prepared for her too. Honesty and frankness will come in handy the next time she's in one of her moods. Only she ought to specifically wait for the right moment so the words hit home.

It's crazy how these things occur to you when you least expect it. This weekend, Miss Q was up at way too early in the morning scribbling this down. And now she's got words.

She has words for when the class acts crazy in line, words for individual awkward turtles, and words for situations that some up. But what's most exciting is that she now knows her expectations could be higher, that she could get them to move towards something. And there are plans. When specific targets are revealed to you, you can make plans.

This writing has actually helped me because now I know that there are specific weaknesses and the only limit to how I target them is my own imagination. Just like you don't get better game by throwing basketballs over your shoulder or repair a house my throwing bricks at it, you can't be dynamic with kids unless you can figure out what they really need. Miss Q thinks she's on to some things:

I hope Beancurd is as whiny, disagreeable, and as obnoxious as possible.

I want Fate to get in one of her moods. Bring it on. Bring the drama.

I want everyone to line up like zoo animals. Can't wait.

Monday, I want to have a blog post called Ready. Aim. Shoot. Target. Warning: there might be dancing involved.

2/04/11: Puxatani Field Day? (Blog 1)

'Hopefully the stick I put in the door will still be there' thought Miss Q as she left the Ashley building.

The door was usually locked from the outside. You couldn't get back in and therefore you had to walk all the way to the front of the school to get back in for lunch. Not Miss Q. Hopefully, no one would remove the stick and no insane shooters would sneak in.

As always, the Anderson hallways were brightly lit and there was plenty of cheer to go around. Like a disease, it had even spread to the custodians. Elementary staff is like that.

By the time Miss Q arrived, Miz Boss was about to line the kids up for lunch. Miss Q wondered what would happened if she tried to walk in sort of nonchalantly. You know. Incognito.

"MISS Q!!"

Not Happening. When they lined up, Miss Q got to observe a great moment though. The Boss was not happy.

"I am sick and tired of gum chewing in this classroom. Really! I'm tired of asking. Miss Beiber, Monet, you have an N now." Aww man. Monet gave a huff. Miss Bieber as always had her usual sly look. The whole class was silent however. Miz Boss's bad side, though never loud or abrasive and carried out in a business-like tone, wasn't a comfy spot.

"I stopped Miz Boss. I haven't chewed any gum." said Beancurd, deciding it a good time to clear his name.

"No. Actually you did. I saw you yesterday."

'Shouldn't have said anything, Beancurd' thought Miss Q.

There would be some drama for her to try to sort out at lunch. However on the way to lunch, Nancy Drew had a fact to deliver.

"Happy Puxatanifield Day! (AKA Groundhog Day)" Miss Q made sure to write that down...

Isn't Groundhog day in the Spring?

"Miss Q, why is your hair so puffy?" CP (that stands for Class President), always with tons of enthusiasm, wanted to know.
Good question. Miss Q's curly afro was indeed something worth assessing. Miz Boss saved her though.

"What dya think happened to my hair. Yeah, wind. Wind." Haha.

Miss Q ended up dealing with plenty of drama at lunch.
Beancurd and Miss Beiber have an ongoing, intense, malicious and backbiting rivalry. Despite this, the two still prefer to always be near each other. Kind of like two cats who try to walk away but always go back because they refuse to leave their backs open.

Monet was also mad at Beancurd for being a 'snitch'. Miss Q felt she did a pretty good job of handling that one.

"...So who's fault is it you got in trouble?"
A huff.
"Mine." she admitted. Miss Q was proud of Monet's humility... odd as that sounds.
"So can we give Beancurd a break?"
"Yes..."

After that, Miss Q was kept busy all throughout lunch trying to distract Beancurd from his focus on Miss Beiber. He actually came and sat next to Miss Q to explain what was going on. She did her best to point out that for every three "she did this"s he had sneakily snuck in something he had done to keep the drama going.

"So what should you do next time?" asked Miss Q
"Tell the teacher. But I did and she kept..."

So then Miss Q decided to help him calm down by distracting him. Turn around Beancurd. That's right. So, you go to the Mustard Seed?

The Mustard Seed is where Miss Q wants to work during the summer. She considers it an extenstion of her childhood afterschool program, the Brigade Boys and Girls club, because it's run by the same people. Fate, who sat across from me, simply wasn't invested in all the drama. We did get some discussion in about the Mustard Seed (Fate goes there) and she said she would beg the people to let me work there.

Miss Q loves Fate very much.

Fate loves attention, but at least she interrupted politely. Lately, Miss Q had been teaching the chilluns to say "Excuse me", when they simply can't hold in their statements.

Miss Q ought to watch Miss Bieber though. By almost all accounts she seems to be the center of most of the trouble. By the time she gets to her, she's all sly smile, half-lidded eyes, and a shrug.

Miz Boss had one last message for everyone when they got back:

Don't get mad because you got caught. Tattling, chewing gum, and name-calling are not cool. It's wrong to tattle but it's also wrong to break the rule to begin with. Now, were done. I'm very upset with you.

Now notice why Miss Q loves Miz Boss. The kids look at her almost like you would a court judge or someone completely trustworthy. She doesn't go for excuses.  Miz Boss often becomes the Overseer of Justice in sticky situations. But just from watching her, Miss Q has learned to imitate that quality. During lunch, Miss Q began to pull out kids to talk to them, and she became the Overseer of Justice. But the most amazing thing was that Miss Q, despite only being Miss Q, had earned the right to judge somehow.
Somewhere along the way, she had become trustworthy enough to handle the great complaint of She's Talking About Me.

Even now, Miss Q sort of puffs out her chest. "Of course they come to me." she insists. "They know I watch them. They know they better have their stories straight."

Of course, Miss Beiber and Beancurd will probably still be at it the next day.

"I saw you say something to him, Miss Beiber. I hope it was nice!"